One Vladimir Ruined Everything, Another Vladimir Fixed It All

A political technologist's irony on Zelensky's decisions in favor of Crimean Tatars.

Vladimir Alexandrovich, hello! You delighted me so much yesterday that I still walk around in a happy mood. This story about building a mosque in Kyiv and celebrating Muslim holidays at the state level is really, really cool! It means that you and I are at the beginning of a great path toward restoring historical justice!

1000 years ago, an outrageous story happened! Our namesake, the Viking-Christian Vladimir, returned to our wonderful Kyiv and began introducing here the customs that were fashionable at the time: he baptized all the native pagans and all the pagan idols that had been worshipped for hundreds of years, and threw them into the Dnieper.

Vladimir Alexandrovich, it is time to correct the mistakes of the previous authorities and restore historical justice by returning to Kyiv and Ukraine the pagan gods, shrines and pagan holidays at the state level!

One Vladimir ruined everything, and another Vladimir fixed everything, it will turn out really cool! And festive sacrifices must definitely be brought back, so that animals can be sacrificed, and occasionally corrupt officials too!

I will write a list of holidays below for you, please make them state holidays too! And the new pagan shrine should be in a beautiful place, for example, on Volodymyrska Street between St. Michael's Golden-Domed Monastery and St. Sophia, there is an abandoned little square right in front of the Hyatt!

Thank you once again, Vladimir Alexandrovich! We look forward to new holidays and cult structures!