Milevsky Launches YouTube Channel. So Far It's All Very Bleak

This is a fiasco, bro.

When it comes to keeping up with modern trends, f̶o̶r̶m̶e̶r̶ footballer Artem Milevsky was often a step ahead — the money and love of luxury made it possible. As a young star of Dynamo on a very good contract (reportedly Artem was getting $100k/month “net” at his best), Milya was a regular at the trendiest clubs and restaurants, drove expensive cars and partied with the most glamorous women. His move into YouTube, which is all-consuming but only starting to develop in Ukraine, did not surprise. What surprised was — how much Artem has aged.

His debut episode gathered a quarter million views in 5 days. On a global scale that's nothing, but for our YouTube it's a solid figure. Just as solid as the media hype launched for the pilot. “Milevsky and Aliyev Are Tearing Up Kyiv Nightlife” — this was, of course, a bold claim in the video title from the start, and on top of that came help from talented SMM specialists at several sports outlets. They got it rolling nicely, no question there.

There are questions about the content. Plenty of people wanted to see the exploits of the “kents” (buddies), but nobody saw those exploits in the final cut. Aliyev, of course, did his job as the invited star — with a single episode at a bar somewhere on Dniprovska Embankment, where he had already moved on to dessert the night before. “F*ck, are you making a film out of this or what, this, f*cking, what's it called, 13 Chairs?” — this was a strong comment about Milevsky's checkered trousers. But Milya himself didn't pull off the episode.

The idea of a trip to one of the capital's clubs fell flat. Milevsky, who turns 35 in January, didn't relax the way his potential audience does, nor the way he himself did 10-15 years ago: with a cigarette in one hand, some “whisky-cola” in the other and girls hanging on his shoulders. While Aliyev, slurring his words, openly admits that “it's not the same anymore” and that he “has grown out of it,” Milevsky insists that it's Kyiv that's not the same, since the female crowd that traditionally waited for him until morning can't be found.

Yes, maybe because of a relationship (judging by social media, he went to Bali not alone) Milevsky was restricted in his movements, but then how to explain that “the breakup of night Kyiv” ended with coffee and a gloomy monologue about how “I still have to get up in the morning”? Like an old man, honestly.

Artem showed that everything is still “luxury” for him: fashionable clothes, expensive perfume, a Range Rover with a driver/agent. But after watching his debut video, what stuck in memory much more was his grumbling against the backdrop — which, as we were once again convinced, — of Aliyev, still sinking to the bottom. And this, by the way, is a question for the editing — why would a viewer need Milevsky's disappointed grumbling, when he, along with all the SMM people, promised a soul-lifting celebration?

In the 2nd video, published on the eve of New Year, Milevsky was already without Aliyev — here he had to carry it alone. But, judging by the editing (what on earth is this), everything went wrong from the very start. The idea was to hand out gifts to Dynamo fans who would recognize Milevsky dressed as Santa Claus. The fail was that out of the first three people polled, none recognized the former Dynamo striker.

A conversation with an Asian man clearly eager to get out of the frame, pestering a 10-year-old boy by tugging his nose and slapping his head, ended with quite unambiguous hints mixed with the hero of the channel admiring himself.

The channel's creators were probably counting on a wow effect — as in, Milevsky himself, not some charlatan, and even gifts. Only the sponsored balls and the former Dynamo footballer who doesn't shave his beard didn't particularly surprise anyone. He is no longer a star here, but one of the former players of the capital's football club who failed to live up to their expectations. 

Milevsky the footballer really had enormous talent. For those who still doubt it, consider the story from José Mourinho's press conference (a fairly respected specialist?) after his Inter match against Dynamo in Kyiv, when the Portuguese essentially said his team had made a comeback thanks to substituting Milevsky. Back then — the 2008/09 and 2009/10 seasons — Milya was in perfect shape and scoring close to twenty goals a season, so Mourinho was right to fear him.

What happened to him next is another conversation; here it's about something else: if Milevsky the footballer had talent, then Milevsky the blogger has yet to show any.